Failure Is a Hell of a Teacher

Failure has a way of shaping you, whether you like it or not. There’s no shame in messing up—only in ignoring the lesson that comes with it. When I teach cave diving, I tell my students they’re already better divers than I’ll ever see. I know they are experiencing performance pressure and my job isn’t to hold their hand; it’s to push them beyond what they think they can handle. Sometimes, it’s the basics that trip them up—something as simple as running a guideline. Other times, I pile on problems until they’re completely overwhelmed. Not because I’m cruel, but because I need to know: Can they handle multiple failures at once?

I actually want them to screw up—under my watchful eye, in a place where they can afford to fail. That’s how they learn. They’re paying good money to become better divers, which means they should be making mistakes. Otherwise, what’s the point? The real failure isn’t in getting something wrong; it’s in refusing to see it as a chance to grow.

People talk about success all the time—winning, achieving, conquering. But failure? That’s the quiet thing we bury, the thing we don’t like to talk about. And yet, it’s the best teacher you’ll ever have—if you let it be.

As an exploration diver and underwater cinematographer, I walk a razor’s edge every time I suit up. The world I move through is unpredictable—cold, dark, and full of risks. My gear can fail. My dive partners might not be as solid as they seemed topside. And always, always, there’s the pressure to bring back something worth the danger. The people who fund these dives? They sit in comfortable offices, hungry for images and stories no one has ever seen. They live by the brutal rule of news: If it bleeds, it leads. But their priorities aren’t mine. For them, the story is everything. For me, survival is.

A successful dive isn’t about capturing the most breathtaking shot or the most harrowing tale. It’s about making it home to tell the story. Sure, I crave the footage, the thrill of discovery—but I also know when to turn back. And that’s not failure. That’s wisdom. Because sometimes, the smartest thing you can do is walk away.

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Above: You can’t keep Jill away from the water - even in the middle of the city. (Lisbon)

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In Defense of Our Families and Friends - Rainbows Are Beautiful

We deeply love and respect our families and treasure our friends. They come in all colors, shapes, and expressions of gender, united by a shared desire to live in a peaceful and accepting world. Their presence enriches our lives with diverse opinions and perspectives, often helping us refine our language and expand our vision toward a more inclusive and compassionate way of seeing the world.

Some people we know have chosen plastic surgery to enhance their breasts, finding greater confidence and comfort in their own skin. Others have had their breasts removed, feeling healthier, more complete, and beautiful as a result. These decisions are deeply personal, and none of them have anything to do with Robert and me. What matters to us is that they live full, meaningful lives, finding love if that’s what they seek, and embracing their most authentic selves.

Love is love, and self-expression is a gift. Let’s strive to be the best and truest versions of ourselves while allowing others the freedom to do the same.

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Here’s a music video from another artist I discovered through Colbert’s The Late Show - Jalen Ngonda - he gives me a real Curtis Mayfield vibe…what do you think? - Robert