From Jill:
I recently came across this quote from Emmy Award-winning actress Alex Borstein:
My grandmother was in line to be shot into a pit. She said, “What happens if I step out of line?” He said, “ I don’t have the heart to shoot you but somebody will.” And she stepped out of line. For that, I am here. My children are here. So step out of line ladies. Step out of line.
Emmy Award Acceptance 2019 for the Marvellous Mrs. Maisel
Society has drawn lines around us for far too long, dictating who we should be, what we aspire to, and how far we can go. Those lines might highlight your race, gender, appearance or abilities. But those lines are not our boundaries; they are merely the starting point of your journey.
We all have dreams, passions, and aspirations that deserve to be pursued with unwavering determination. Yet, too often, we find ourselves hesitating, held back by the weight of social and cultural expectations. When I was trying to envision a career in the underwater world, I faced countless barriers. In my youth, I allowed those boundaries to encapsulate my existence. But then, a realization struck me like a lightning bolt-I needed to break down the walls and live the life I wished for. And so, I did. I overcame those barriers, defied expectations, and carved a unique path. This is not just my story; it’s a testament to the power we all hold within us to break free and pursue our dreams.
But what if we all dared to step out of line? What if we collectively embraced the audacity to challenge the status quo, to defy the limitations imposed upon us, and to carve our own paths toward success? Imagine the impact we could make, the change we could bring, and the world we could create. It’s not just about individual success; it’s about the power of our collective defiance.
It won’t be easy. There will be obstacles, doubters, and naysayers along the way. But remember this: every barrier we encounter is an opportunity to prove our strength, every doubt cast upon us is a chance to reaffirm our resolve, and every setback we face is a stepping stone toward our ultimate triumph. Making the decision to change your focus is the most challenging step. Once the decision is made, you’ll ask yourself, “Why didn’t I do this earlier??
We stand on the shoulders of the countless people who came before us, who fought tirelessly for the rights and freedoms we enjoy today. It is our duty, responsibility, and privilege to honour their legacy by daring to dream bigger, reach higher, and push further than ever before.
I urge you to step out of line. Even better: step into the darkness. Embrace the full extent of your potential. Pursue your dreams with unbridled passion and unwavering determination. And know that with each bold step you take, you not only find your best self but also inspire countless others to do the same. You have the power to ignite a chain reaction of self-discovery and empowerment. You will find your best self and inspire others to be comfortable in their own unique skin too.
When we shatter the confines of expectation, we will create a world where every person is free to soar to their most incredible heights.
From Robert - The Creative Process
1. This is Awesome
2. This is Tricky
3. This is Crap
4. I am Crap
5. This might be Okay
6. This is Awesome
I don’t know who created this profound list. There are dozens of variations floating around online. To whomever originally posted it: Well done, you nailed it!
Every creative project I’ve ever worked on seemed to follow this outline - from woodworking to writing and publishing a few books. Many efforts got stuck at the third step: This Is Crap - and I’ve got a file draw full of unfinished novels and screenplays to prove it. Every once in a while, I’ll rifle through them, finding a few pages or paragraphs that I think are brilliant - then reality sets in and I realize, “Yes, it is mostly crap, and even these few gems won’t rescue this mess.” I can’t bring myself to part with them. Conversely, I can’t bring myself to polish these turds and complete them for publication.
I used to hold on to everything. Everything I ever wrote. Every digital image, every negative and print I photographed. (I began my photography career in 1983 when we shot, processed, and printed on film). I had boxes and boxes of proof sheets piled up in the garage. Then one day I hauled them to the fire pit and burned every one of them. Those thousands of pictures represented a Robert from the past. The new Robert watched as his former life went up in smoke into the blue Florida sky. My former creative pursuits were no longer relevant. I was free of the expectations, successes, and disappointments those images accorded me. I had a new creative quest: Living my authentic life with my creative life partner.
Together we would bring new positive works into existence, never compromising our integrity and never surrendering to the prevailing trends or engaging in “people pleasing.”
And yes, I’ve had some modest successes. I’ve had some near misses. And I’ve had a few failures.
Here’s an excerpt of one of my screenplays stuck on Step 3:
EXT-WHERE THE DIRT TRAIL MEETS THE PAVED ROAD-DAY.
The motorcycle's front tire skittishly meets the wet, paved road. The rider attempts to turn sharply to the left and there! In
the middle of the road is a family of geese--mom and four goslings strung out, waddling across the highway!The RIDER brakes! Turns the bike sharply to avoid the flapping SQUAWKING birds. In a heap of black leather, goose shit and steel, bike and rider slide across the asphalt
landing in a gravel ditch.RIDER
(muffled voice under helmet)What a morning! Save the crappy geese and kill myself!
The rider picks up and hastily inspects the motorcycle, and gingerly straddles the torn seat. Both mirrors fall off. The lights are all smashed.
The rider's helmet has scrape marks and a bulletTaking a quick over the shoulder glance and re-starting the bike, the rider defiantly pops a wheelie and runs through the nimble motorcycle's gears.
Passing a road sign that says "Valdez-48 miles", they disappear down the road.
The motorcycle's bullet-riddled license tag reads "TREEHGR."
I hold on to these incomplete screenplays and novels knowing that some passages represent my best writing, my highest creative efforts. But, as much as I’d like to, I can’t fool myself into thinking that anyone else will ever see them. They may linger in that drawer long after I’m gone. Maybe they will be discovered and like many famous writers become my posthumous success stories.
Step Five: They Might Be Okay.
And I’m okay with that…
Jill has been named the “Honorary Ottawa Riverkeeper”. Here’s a short video. (Pay no attention to the goofball in the lower right corner). More info here.
The Transformative Power of Travel
Travelling to new destinations is a catalyst for curiosity, growth, and renewal. It exposes us to diverse cultures, traditions, and perspectives, sparking wonder and prompting questions about the world. Stepping outside our comfort zones challenges us to adapt and grow, leading to self-discovery and newfound passions. Travel also offers a chance to reflect, gain perspective, and reconnect with ourselves, nourishing the soul. Ultimately, it reminds us of the vastness and diversity of the world, inspiring empathy, understanding, and a sense of possibility. So, embrace the transformative journey of travel and let curiosity guide your exploration of the world.
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A lot of people have a moment in their life when it feels like you need to take a leap of faith! You don’t know what’s ahead. I think it’s easier to take that leap of faith when you don’t feel like the status quo is a choice. When you left Toronto to go the Caymans, I imagine you felt suffocated by your life and needed to break free!
I had my Alex Borstein’s grandma moment, not quite that extreme but it was close! I had to make a decision quickly, not acting was not
an option and it led me to a life beyond my wildest imagination as a
child. I didn’t even have the reference and vocabulary to wish the magical moments I have experienced and continue to experience in my life. Yes, I changed countries, careers but it was so so worth it! When I share my story, my friends tell me how brave they think I was. I always tell them. It was not brave, I didn’t have a choice! I think sometimes people get stuck in inaction because they have too much to lose! Stepping into the darkness can be scary but the possibilities sometimes are life changing! Not easy but worth it! As always Jill, your article resonated with me so deeply! Thank you!
Robert, I am still keeping all my letters and photos in a box in the attic. That’s the non digital content! On my computer, I have over 200,000 photos and I kept every single song I wrote and yeah, most of it is crap. Every time my wife reminds me it’s time to clean them up, I hesitate. Maybe I need to learn to let go of the crap! Congratulations on the new Robert!
I am so happy for you two, for finding each other! Your pictures together are so sweet. I wish you many many more years of continuous joy and happiness together!